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Worst Indie Band Names:

;-) and the Emoticons

Aesthete's Foot

The Affable Frenchmen

Articulate As Fuck

As If and the Air Quotes

Atlas Frugged

A Very Special Episode of Blossom

Borrowing Joe Orton's Hammer

Britney's Plain, Bitter Sister

Brother, Can You Paradigm?

Christo Draped My Girlfriend's Ass

Classified 'Nads


Demoted From Êbermensch

Does This Dental Dam Taste Like Coleslaw to You?

The Dot-Coms Aren't Hiring Anymore Because The NASDAQ Is Tanking, So We Were Going To Make An Indie Film, But Then We Saw Blink-182 On MTV And We Figured, Hey, If They Can Do It, Any Idiot Can Do It, So We Formed This Band

Doubtful It's Mayonnaise

Droppin' Trou With Senor Wences

Dude, Your Mom is HOT!

Durwood Kirby Sleeps On My Living Room Couch

E. Coli and the Food-Borne Illnesses

Ernest Borgnine Naked

The Fact That We Rock Is the Third Secret of Fatima

Fartin' Sartre

Fat, Drunk, And Blowin' Chunks Onstage

Find the $100 Bill Hidden Somewhere in Our Drummer's Pubic Hair

The Fifth, Sixth, Seventh and Eighth Beatles

Five Guys Who Formed a Band And Still Can't Get Laid

The Four Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf

The Four Horsemen of the Disappointing Ending

The Fuckin' A's

Garrotted with a Scrunchy

God's Only Nose

Go Foucault Yourself

Graceland Êber Alles

The Grumpy Dead

Gynecological Whack-A-Mole

Hava Negilah, No, Have Two

He Called Me A Mook. You Can't Call Me A Mook. What's A Mook?

He Do The Police In Different Hairstyles

Hey...I Think I Know That Tongue

Hi I'm Five and I Can Count to One Hundred! One, Two, Three, Four...

Hissyfit Against the Machine

Hungry Hungry Hypocrites

I Don't Think Presumptive Means What You Think It Means

I Ejaculate Bosco

If 6 Was 9, That'd Be Just Wacky

If You're Ready to Rock and Roll, Press 1 Now

Inscrutable Crouton

I Should Have Been A Pair of Ragged Claws, But Instead I Work Nights At Wendy's

It Came From Burl Ives' Goatee

I Think My Spirit Guide Is Licking Me

It's Alright, Ma... (No It Fucking Isn't Get Me A Doctor Before I Bleed To Fucking Death On Your Goddamned Fucking Turkish Rug)

I Want To Die Like Lupe Velez

Jimmy Crack Whore

Kaballah Not Glue

Klaatu Verada Nick Lowe

Labia Menorah (X-rated klezmer band)


Leave the Gun, Take the Zamboni

Leg Humped By Quakers

Mack The Naif

Mangione...Or Astromangione?

MC Escher (I tried listening to his album, but I'm not sure where it begins or ends...)

The Men They Could Hang, But Didn't Because George W. Carefully Reviews Every Death Warrant That Comes Across His Desk And He Saw That They Might Be Innocent And Immediately Called Off The Execution

The Men Who Funk Forgot

My Enormous Mantits

My Nutsack Salutes You

My Uncle The Would-Be Trotsky Killer

Nebbishes With Attitude

New Riders of the Gulag Archipelago

Nixon Prayer Session

Noddy Holder's Spell Checker

No, Mr. Bond, I Expect You To Plotz

Oh, There's Godot

Okay, We'll Throw The Girl In Too

Ontogeny Recapitulates Yo' Mama

The Other White Meat

Ophelia Self

The Orangina Monologues

Our Name Is Self-Referential!

Pantsed In Gaza

The Parts of a Chicken You're Really Not Supposed to Eat

The Perpetually Queasy

The Putra Faction

The Richard Feynmen

Ringo Ate My Baby

Schroedinger's Cat Scan

Schtup With People

Single Mullet Theory

Sisyphus is a Pusher

The Slouching Wallendas

Sociopath of Least Resistance

Sopping Wet Cusack

Speak, Mummery

Spy In The House of Pancakes

Syd Barrett's Missing Chromosomes Ate My Puppy

Tastes Nothing Like Chicken

That Darn Catheter

These Your Testicles?

Things That Look Like Pudding

Three Chords And a Legally Accurate Representation Of the Events As They Transpired On the Night of September 14, 1997

Tinky-Winky, La La, Po & Young

Tittie Bar Sinister

Too Idealistic for the Oneida Colony

Tower of Impotence

The Trembling Mohels

Two Tons O' Nun

Ubu Roi G. Biv

Watch It or We'll Give You an Indian Burn

Weasels Who Drive Zambonis

The Weenie Mocks You

We Vishnu a Hare Krishna

What the Corporate-Owned Media Won't Tell You About My Eleven-Inch Love Muscle

What The Hell Happened to the Cat?

When People Were Shorter and Kept Things on Much Lower Shelves

Where The Hell's My Cookie?

Yoko Boingo

Zeppo Marx Was the Funny One!

- I am told the source of this list is the participants of the Music forum at Salon Table Talk.
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