Dave Murphy Band Schedule Booking Information Contact Us CD Information Photo Gallery
Sub Navigation Bar

The Depressed Musician

A musician who's spent his whole life trying to break into the big time is feeling very depressed. He's been turned down by every single record company in the country, and no one seems to recognize his unique genius other than his Mom.

So he decides to top himself, and dreams up an ingenious plan to get revenge on all the institutions who've rejected him all his life. He goes into a recording studio and tells the engineer to record exactly what he says, copy it onto 1000 CDs, and send them out to all the record execs in the country.

He goes into the vocal booth, and he begins:

"This is a message to all you sycophantic, talentless bastards who've ignored me all these years. I dedicated my life to writing beautiful, emotive, soul-touching music, and all you wankers do is bin my tapes and sign pretty-boy bands and the Spice Girls. Well, I've taken all I can of your puerile and shallow industry, and it's YOU who've driven me to this!!!

Goodbye, murderers of art!!"

With that, he pulled out a gun and sprayed his brains all over the studio wall.

At that, the sound engineer glanced up and said "Okay, good... I got levels. Wanna go for a take?.... Hello?
This is Dave
Phone, email, fax information